Emergency Solutions When You Are Extremely Stressed and Want to Give Up | Safe and Sound

In modern life, everyone has times when they fall into a state of extreme stress, when the pressures from work, family, finances, relationships... pile up to the point that you just want to "stop everything," disappear from the world, or give up everything. So when you fall into such a situation, what should you do? How to keep yourself safe, stabilize your emotions and psychology, and find the next direction when everything seems to collapse and give up?

Ngo Thi Sang | Master of Educational Psychology – Applied mental health care Safe and Sound

Institute of Medical Technology Applications

1. Recognize the signs of extreme stress

Recognizing the signs of extreme stress

Before you can deal with it, you need to learn to recognize when extreme stress is taking over you. According to psychologists, symptoms may include:

  • Feeling so tired, both physically and mentally, that I don't want to get out of bed, don't want to talk to anyone.
  • Feeling angry or panicky or crying for no apparent reason.
  • Negative thoughts recur over and over again, like “I’m useless,” “there’s no way out,” and “I’d rather disappear.”
  • The body reacts to prolonged stress: rapid heartbeat, chest pain, dizziness, insomnia, and loss of appetite or overeating.
  • Feeling disconnected from the world around you, even from yourself.

These are signs that you need to take immediate action to avoid the risk of more serious damage to your mental and overall health.

2. Things you can do immediately when you feel like giving up

When you are in a state of extreme stress, your brain tends to activate the “fight or flight” mechanism, making you more likely to act impulsively or fall into a state of paralysis, unable to think clearly. At this point, the most important thing is not to try to “solve the problem” immediately, but to help yourself return to a state of physical and emotional safety. Below are simple but effective steps you can take right away, within the first few minutes, to save yourself from the “emotional wave” that is engulfing you.

a. Take a deep breath and slow things down

When emotions are running high: anger, anxiety, extreme sadness; you may feel like you are being swept away by a chaotic stream of thoughts. At this point, stopping and returning to your breath is the quickest way to regain some control.

Psychologists suggest you try this simple exercise:

  • Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, feeling and observing the air moving down into your lungs, filling your belly.
  • Hold your breath for 4 seconds, allowing your mind to have a base, feeling the expansion happening in your abdomen.
  • Exhale slowly through your mouth for 6 seconds, as if you are releasing pressure, stress and fatigue from your chest.

Repeat this cycle for 2-3 minutes, during which time you can close your eyes, place your hand on your heart, and silently say: “I am still here. I am safe. This too shall pass.”

Psychologists say there's a scientific reason behind this: deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which slows the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, relieves stress, and takes the body out of its "fight or flight" mode.

b. Remove the body from the current situation

Remove your body from the current situation

Extreme stress is often not just a problem in your head, but is also reinforced by your surroundings. If you are in a crowded, noisy place or facing a stressful situation such as an argument, a pressing deadline, or constant noise, then temporarily removing yourself from that space is an extremely important step to psychological recovery .

  • Take a slow walk around the house or around the neighborhood, or simply go out to the balcony to get some fresh air.
  • If you're in a public place or can't leave right away, change your position: stand up, stretch, move around a bit, or go to the restroom for a few minutes of privacy.
  • Sometimes just washing your face with cool water, or smelling a pleasant scent (essential oil, light perfume, scented handkerchief…) can also awaken the nervous system and help you “break out of the state of paralysis”.

Changing your physical environment is the first step to unblocking your mental block. You don’t have to “fix everything now” – just help yourself get out of the current wave of negativity.

3. Dealing with negative thoughts during times of extreme stress

During times of extreme stress, you may find your mind filled with thoughts like:

  • “I'm so tired, I can't take it anymore.”
  • “Maybe everyone would be better off without me.”
  • “There is nothing left to try for.”

These thoughts are not facts, but the result of an overloaded nervous system, a mind exhausted by pressure, and a long-term psychological fatigue. Just like when you have a high fever, it is not that you are weak, but that your body is signaling that it needs to rest and heal.

- You are not alone

Many people have been in the same situation as you. They have felt empty, hopeless, and had no way out. But they have overcome it, thanks to one very important thing: they did not refuse help.

What you’re feeling isn’t “unique” and certainly isn’t a sign that you’re not good enough. Psychologists emphasize that it’s a sign that you need a safe space to be heard, to rest, and to start over.

- Thoughts of giving up are not you.

Your mind may be filled with negative thoughts right now. But remember: thoughts are not facts. The words that ring in your head: “I am worthless”, “No one needs me” are not your voice, but the echoes of your mental exhaustion.

It is the voice of a mind that has not been properly cared for for a long time.

Instead of beating yourself up for having these thoughts, tell yourself:

“This is how my brain reacts when it's overwhelmed and tired. I need to be restored, not judged.”

- Write down your thoughts to regain distance

Write down your thoughts to regain distance

When your mind is in chaos, psychologists suggest writing it down is an effective way to get those thoughts out of your head and look at them from a safe distance.

You can write whatever comes to mind, without forcing logic or beauty:

  • “I'm so tired.”
  • “I see no reason to continue.”
  • “I feel like I'm nothing.”

Writing these things down doesn't make them real; on the contrary, it helps you clarify them, so you can filter out what's truly true and let go of the rest.

After you finish writing, try writing another sentence:

“If I live on, what do I want to be different?”

You may not have the answer at first. But the mere act of asking that question is the first step in opening up a new possibility, that you can go on and live your life differently.

- Tell yourself:

  • “I deserve help, even if I feel unworthy.”
  • “This feeling will pass. No storm lasts forever.”
  • “I won't make an important decision when I'm mentally exhausted. I'll wait another 24 hours. I can do it.”

If you are in a very serious mental health situation, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist, psychiatrist or emergency hotline. No one was born to have to carry everything alone. You have the right to support. You have the right to live .

4. Create your own “emotional first aid kit”

Create your own emotional first aid kit

Here is a strategy to help you “psychologically rescue” yourself in seriously stressful situations:

  • A list of people you can call (or chat) to talk to when needed.
  • An audio or video that motivates you.
  • List of little things that make you feel good: drinking hot tea, cuddling a pet, listening to a favorite song.
  • A notebook to write down reasons to keep going: names of people you love, things you've overcome, goals you want to achieve.

If you find yourself needing help from a psychologist or psychiatrist, start by finding a reputable counseling center or service. You can choose to have face-to-face counseling or online counseling, depending on your situation and comfort level. Most importantly, be open to sharing and accepting guidance from a professional. 

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See also:

Is prolonged fatigue dangerous? When should I see a psychologist?

Signs and treatment of anxiety disorders with the support of a psychologist

Signs that you are under too much stress

: Emergency Solutions When You Are Extremely Stressed and Want to Give Up | Safe and Sound